a note

Its a slow day. It feels like house arrest. I can hardly go out; parents are paranoid, Mom is using crutches and Dad (and Ijat) is busy preparing for his leave. This Sunday. Bro, its your last week to be a KL-ite. Maybe i'll take him to a movie or something. Yeah.

3.28 PM.

I just took a shower. Clearly i'm not in my best shape and i'm starting to think that school is the balance to my life. Like, school is fundamental. What sucks is that i have not touched my homework YET and i've no clue how to start that Bio crap.

As i lay on the couch, watching tv, listening to Mom and Nenek gossip about my relatives, i feel nauseated. The day is eating my brain like cows eat cud. Eww okay maybe not. I plan what i want to do before sleep, a monologue i recite, my mantra before dozing off. But still, i haven't done anything i wanted to. To exercise, to read, to be healthy. None of those actions are set in motion.

I walk, upstairs, downstairs, the tiny bells on my left ankle cadencing. I stopped in the kitchen, my back on the counter. Staring out into space i wondered what my friends were doing. They didn't text nor call. Neither did i. We all meet in the cyber world.

I feel so pathetic. Disturbed maybe.

It was just a nudge.