but I got k-ed at

"One of the most satisfying experiences I know is just fully to appreciate an individual in the same way I appreciate a sunset. When I look at a sunset … I don’t find myself saying, “Soften the orange a little on the right hand corner, and put a bit more purple in the cloud color” … I don’t try to control a sunset. I watch it with awe as it unfolds. It is this receptive, open attitude which is necessary to truly perceive something as it is."

-Carl Rogers

across the pacific ocean

The real challenge starts here.
And I am but reminded of all the things I used to despise...
On top of the list?



Expectations.

They will be the death of me.

the wallflower's guide to 'how to be and feel sexy'

• treat everyone with kindness, even though they don't deserve it.
• be quiet, lower your gaze. you'll seem mysterious.
• you don't have to shed a lot of skin in order to be sexy. confidence is key.
• manners are very important. vulgar language is a big turn off.
• say 'please' and 'thank you'. smile.
• wear sexy undergarments. i believe that confidence shines from within.
• read. and by read i meant factual stuffs and current issues. drooling over fantasies from your novels won't make you any smarter, it seems. smart is sexy.
• don't give away too much.
• be yourself. putting on charades is not going to help you. try and learn to be comfortable in your own skin. love yourself before letting others love you.
• explore new things.
• learn how to be creative. keep a journal, write random stuffs, read a random book, join a club, try a new dish, experiment in the kitchen.
• give out lovely compliments. and be sincere.
• think nicely of other people.
• do volunteer work. give as much as you take.
• don't expect. do things out of love and passion. do it for yourself, not to attract attention. if you've done enough, people will notice.
• breathe in the earth, the people, the smell of coffee, the scent of a newly opened book. appreciate life.
• be thankful.

Being sexy is not about showing your cleavage or having people bow down to you as if you're a goddess, no. To me, being sexy is being womanly. And by being womanly, is to embrace our fragile and tender nature. Our loving souls. As a woman, I think the most attractive trait that we can have is confidence with humility. 

"Be humble for you are made of Earth. Be noble for you are made of stars."

so travel, it will

blog as a last resort for a venting outlet

STOP REPLYING TO MY TWEET PEOPLE.



I KNOW DWIGHT HOWARD IS MOVING TO THE LAKERS. AND NO, I'M NOT HAPPY.

word vomit

So are you ready?
Are we?




Am I?


I might be making a big fuss out of this but I can't help it.
I don't know what to do or think. Every time I pick myself up and try to prepare for what's to come it only pulls me back to that nightmare I've been avoiding these past few months.
Been having the same dreams lately too. Same obstacles, random people and faces, but still, same monsters.
I don't know what it means. Hm.

Sometimes I just sit and stare into emptiness thinking of what I'm feeling and how to exactly mold my thoughts into words.

On one end, you just want to be exuberantly happy and optimistic that you'd automatically repel ill-willed zombies whenever you walk pass them.

And on the other, it's like your whole world is crashing into a big hole of nothingness and you find yourself imprisoned in it. And you just want to curl up into a ball, losing yourself little by little, luxuriating in letting go and crying your insides out.

Most of the time I'm good. I'm that happy, optimistic person.
Other times I would love to opt for the latter. You know, just to satisfy my bipolar needs.

This post does not have a clear topic. (It is bipolar, just like myself. Ha.)
Well, while I'm stuck in limbo, I bid you all Happy Ramadhan!