word vomit

So are you ready?
Are we?




Am I?


I might be making a big fuss out of this but I can't help it.
I don't know what to do or think. Every time I pick myself up and try to prepare for what's to come it only pulls me back to that nightmare I've been avoiding these past few months.
Been having the same dreams lately too. Same obstacles, random people and faces, but still, same monsters.
I don't know what it means. Hm.

Sometimes I just sit and stare into emptiness thinking of what I'm feeling and how to exactly mold my thoughts into words.

On one end, you just want to be exuberantly happy and optimistic that you'd automatically repel ill-willed zombies whenever you walk pass them.

And on the other, it's like your whole world is crashing into a big hole of nothingness and you find yourself imprisoned in it. And you just want to curl up into a ball, losing yourself little by little, luxuriating in letting go and crying your insides out.

Most of the time I'm good. I'm that happy, optimistic person.
Other times I would love to opt for the latter. You know, just to satisfy my bipolar needs.

This post does not have a clear topic. (It is bipolar, just like myself. Ha.)
Well, while I'm stuck in limbo, I bid you all Happy Ramadhan!