Monday, December 28, 2009


my girls wanted to know

What my dream guy is like.

Tall, lean and tan.
Jet-black hair shaved close to his head.
Dimples - oh my god.
Liquid eyes.
Not cute-

OKAY that was not entirely my "dream guy". That was from my favourite book. And yes, he's purely fictional. But hey, pretty good description for a guy who doesn't exist.
I've never really put much thought into this thing actually. I've got no plans whatsoever for my future (which is tumbling and crashing down towards me really fast). I've heard people starting to think names for their babies already. AND THEY'RE STILL MINORS. At least, they know what they want and they're putting their eyes on the prize. Well, as for me, umm.. let me put it this way-
I. Don't. Know. What. I. Want.


I've had this conversation with Mom before. I only knew that i wanted to marry a chef (and still does). I told her I believed in love at first sight :)

She doesn't.
Nor does Hana.

IT COULD HAPPEN YA KNOW. Or I might be superstitious? Nahhh...

"Be my singing lesson
Be my song.
When I tell you I'm falling,
Tell me I'm strong."
-Patty Griffin

So, I'm pretty sure I can tell you this much, my future hubby, is the man of my dreams.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

mom is a bad secret-keeper

maas mazlan says:
u chatting w Ryessa ke?
Sam says:
ryessa, hana
maas mazlan says:
or...that fella?
Sam says:
what fella?
maas mazlan says:
no fella lah. ok gud nite bibi
Sam says:
bye bye

was dad trying to be funny?

Tuesday, December 22, 2009


Got this from Jason Mraz's blog via Joey's.

Ya Allah. Berikanlah aku kesempatan untuk gigit budak ini.

Monday, December 21, 2009

I dream the things I want but will never get. But when I see everyone else enjoying my little piece of desire, it seems kind of unfair.

Good things rarely happen to me, I know. This sounds selfish but- I think I deserve a miracle too.

Friday, December 18, 2009


heinous but kinda cool. i love Zooey :D

Saturday, December 12, 2009

like santa exists

solar bras are the new "in-thing".

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

in The Twilight Saga movies. It's unnecessary.

future + crap + random + life= Hanan

I am always self-conscious whenever people are around me or when i'm in public. Always aware of eyes on me, always fiddling with my hair or my shirt and always keeping my distance away from people; you know, in case I have bad breath or a zit the size of Kansas. I hate to admit this because I look so carefree on the outside and a shy smile intact, but the truth is hidden behind a mask. I'm just a good actress.

Somewhere inside of me, lies a girl with big dreams. Though, the chances of it actually being put into real life is really thin. Thinking of it that way makes me feel like a small town girl who just knows about marriage; how ironic considering the fact that i live in the city. One of the biggest dreams of mine is to live a luxurious life. No, not luxurious in a wealthy way with loads of cash, but wealthy in friendship, freedom, carelessness, and of course love.

I don't have the courage to fulfill that YET, but I will get there soon. Right after I figured out who I am exactly. The thought of it send shrills throughout my body. I can't wait to embark on that journey. The journey to discover what God has set for me, to enjoy wonders of life and to learn from it.

Being an avid reader has its many advantages. Of course, the obvious reason is because it takes you somewhere without even travelling there, only the mind does. And of course it broadens your perception on everything. It's like taking a stroll in another man's shoes. A reader is a dreamer. I dream constantly of the grounds I'm about to step in the future; another continent maybe, about my future husband; a chef preferably, and of course my absurd visions of me being able to sing in front of an audience, a big one that is. But I was just singing out of tune in the bathroom, naked while taking a shower.

I've seen a lot of characters throughout my sixteen years. Sometimes they appear to be exactly like the characters in my books! But I guess we aren't really that cruel either. Wannabes, riches, tomboys, desperados and et cetera. There was always an invisible dividing line, like us versus them. It sounds stupid in chick lits but I've seen them in real life. The dramas, the fights... UGH sometimes it sounds worse than economical breakdowns. Remember Mean Girls? The flickers she gets of the uncivilized fights which normally happens in the savanah but instead it happens in her school? Yeah, its really like that in real life. Not because of the fighting, but mostly because its noisy.

The point here is, I don't really know if I fit. Into that picture or in anywhere else. I don't feel like I'm really normal because I think I'm too weird to be normal. Or maybe, I'm just different. In a bad way. I don't... know.

Let's hope that works out in the end. Cheers to randomness. The world will be a dull place without it. Spreading love..